separation anxiety - volume 1, issue 3

Last semester, we wrote about Eden experiencing some separation anxiety (here and here). She would scream when I dropped her off at school, and she would scream at the church nursery. She would scream when Ashley left in the morning, and she was not happy when I even mentioned going to school after she calmed down.

Fortunately, that subsided for a bit. We visited family for a while, and had a while at PDO where she was her normal, happy self. Then, the second week back this semester, it started again. I've been able to calm her quite easily when Ashley leaves in the morning. In fact, she is even happy to have me get her out of her crib (which used to be a "Where's Mommy?" event). Unfortunately, she has not been her normal, happy self when I drop her off at PDO in the mornings.

I've reverted to giving her Georgia and a paci, and her teachers say it helps. They get it from her about 15 minutes after I leave when it is time for a snack. Not ideal, but certainly better than a nearly-2-year-old screaming and kicking for what seems like an eternity (though they say it only lasts a minute or so).

Some say that "It's just something that happens" while others claim particular "universal strategies" to cope with it. We think the answer lies somewhere between these two claims. If anything has worked for you and your little ones, do share. For now, we've gone back to our original strategies of a very systematic drop-off, combined with a strategic team approach of me doing something fun with Eden while Ashley leaves in the morning, and reminding Eden of who will pick her up.

After a week of this, it seems to be working. On Sunday, her favorite Sunday school teacher was in and drop off went much better. She even wanted to walk back in the building to say "goodbye" and give a kiss to Miss Cayla as we were headed to the car.

The next challenge ... working on getting Eden excited about the snacks and lunch we send to PDO rather than the cheese puffs that everyone else gets for snack and the random chocolate covered pretzels in the lunches of kids sitting next to her! We're trying the same strategies of talking to her while I pack her lunch and hyping up how special and good her food is. Only time will tell with this one.