what I'm thankful for

I am writing this intentionally to reframe my own thinking. I definitely need to do this in the moment. Maybe writing it will help me.

I am thankful for ...

... tantrums (and screaming and emotions) ... I am thankful that Eden knows I will be there to hear her ... that she knows there is someone around to care if she is upset and that it is a safe enough place to let herself go. I remember reading a blog once where the mom said she knows there are children who no longer cry out because no one is around to listen or respond.

... sleepless nights ... I am thankful that despite Lydia's small size she wakes up to eat enough to ensure that she is growing and chubby, that I am able to comfort her and fill her little tummy, that she needs me and finds comfort in my arms.

... the question "Why?" ... I am thankful that Eden is interested in the things around her, that she doesn't question whether or not I'll have an answer, that she remembers what we tell her, and that she wants to talk to me. I know not all of these things will always be true.

Graham says he is thankful for his early mornings and breakfasts with the girls. He's thankful that I trust him enough to sleep peacefully while he is up with the girls early in the morning and that he gets to spend time with them. [I'm always thankful for this one!]

- ashley

random

A post I forgot to publish in mid October ...

I should explain. E has a fascination with doctors/hospitals/nurses and also with tape. Put the two together, and you get friends that have been taken care of at the hospital and bandaged up to make them better. Still - it looks weird.

things

We've got a lot of things to post. Until we get more caught up, here's some filler ...

"B" bread ...

Then, she bit off half, and it became "D" bread.

She decided she needed to dress herself for school last week ...

 ... her Christmas dress from last year that I had hanging on display in the closet (her "ruby red dress"), thin tights, red Keds, and an Auburn bow. Not sure why she wanted the Auburn bow, but she did.

Reading her very first magazine that came addressed to her in the mail ...

... Highlights' High 5 Magazine. It has the "Can You Find This" pages where you search for small objects hidden in the larger picture. I LOVED those growing up.

- ashley

6 month update

Lydia turned 6 months old on November 3rd. She is now rolling over by herself, watching and checking out everything, grabbing things that she wants, eating solid food (to date, peaches, pears, apples, strawberries, squash, sweet potatoes, peas, green beans, brown rice, and oatmeal).

She also holds likes her belly ... finally!

And she is getting better at sitting ...

These are all pictures from Ashley's photo shoot - mostly in the backyard. She is really photogenic ...

... the thinking baby pose [distracted by the birds in the trees] ...

... the "I'm about to put my foot in my mouth" pose ...

...the "my sister is crazy" or "what, Momma?" pose ...

... and the "I love my new lovee" pose.

She is also getting a bit better about sitting still while we read books (Eden likes to read to her)

At the doctor's appointment, we found out that she now weighs 12 pounds 13 oz and is XX tall (2nd percentile for both with a 50% head - sound familiar?). 

We've also recently discovered that Lydia does NOT like to ride in the car at night unless she can see someone. That someone would be me [Ashley] sitting in between the car seats, talking to Lydia, and holding her hand. Guess she just doesn't like feeling alone in the dark.

She is also sleeping on her stomach some now. Thankfully, she has figured out she can just turn her head once she puts herself on her stomach and then go back to sleep. This has helped some, though it feels like little solace, with her 6-month-growth-spurt and teething combination. For the past week or so, she has been waking every 3 to 4 hours at night to nurse [and I can often feel her tummy grumbling]. Not so fun. Especially when we can still remember the nights where she slept for 8 hours at a time.

Lydia LOVES to eat her toes ... especially her left foot.

And, she just recently received a new bouncy on loan from her friends Keegan and Conner. We just had to figure out something that would help her actually be able to bounce. Seems a 400-page dissertation from her Daddy does the trick really well ...

 

Finally, we've decided that we really just aren't funny. We don't remember Eden laughing and giggling nearly as much as Lydia does, and we've noticed that Lydia really cracks up most often when her sister is around. The conclusion ... we just weren't that entertaining for Eden.

She's going crazy. ... & a Behavioral Rewards System

Eden has started going crazy.

Seriously. We've had about 5 complete and utter meltdowns over things not happening the way she thought they would. Here are a few examples ...

Example #1 occurred when I told her she couldn't wear a pair of blue shoes because they were too big ....

I want the blue ones. I want the blue ones! I want the blue ones! [cry- cry-sniffle-cry] I want the blue ones. I wa--a-a-nt the blue ones! I want the blue ones. I want the blue ones! I want the blue ones! [cry- cry-sniffle-cry] I want the blue ones. I wa--a-a-nt the blue ones! I want the blue ones. I want the blue ones! I want the blue ones! [cry- cry-sniffle-cry] I want the blue ones. I wa--a-a-nt the blue ones! .......

Example #2 occurred when I cut her nutella sandwich into strips instead of leaving the sandwich whole ...
No-o-o-o! I want a big one. I want a big one! I want a big one. [cry- cry-sniffle-cry-wailing-flailing-tears streaming] I want a big one. I want a big one! I want a big one. [cry- cry-sniffle-cry-wailing-flailing-tears streaming] [[I left the room and came back to her yelling at the sandwich ... ]] STAY TOGETHER! STAY TOGETHER!!!!

Example #3 occurred when Graham said grace first and Eden decided that she had wanted to say it first. You can't undo a first said grace, so she lost it. We worked on how to respond to that particular situation. Now, she tells you to say it first just so she can dramatically say, "Oh well, I guess I'll do it next time" after you're done.
A good friend of ours said age 2 was emotional and 3 is psychotic. We're beginning to agree.

Needless to say, we've been rethinking our strategies about how to cope. Along with beginning to be more deliberate in labeling her emotions to help her express what she is feeling and asking if we can help her hug or shake the sadness/mean feeling out, etc., we're also instituting a behavioral rewards point system.

I know, I know, we previously were appalled at these systems that focus on what needs addressing at the current time and that reward good behavior with points/prizes, etc. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Here's how the point system is working out so far [we just started it today] ...

• if we are able to coach Eden through an entire nuclear meltdown while remaining calm and without yelling back at her [which would just cause her to completely spiral out of control], if we can keep our cool the whole time ... we get 75 whole points!
• coaching her playfully/joyfully or just getting through the bedtime routine without inciting a confrontation  = 15 points, since this is a more common behavior that we don't need to work on too much
• successfully helping Eden to transition through a change without becoming frustrated at her for being a 3-year-old and acting like it ... we're thinking about 10 points

I racked up 75 points just this afternoon! And, I'm thinking I can certainly come up with other areas where I need to concentrate on being patient, loving, and kind and where I need to act like the parent instead of like a 5-year-old. Graham and I decided that once we reach 100 points, we get to cash in our points for a reward. Not sure what my prize is going to be, but is that ever really the point of these systems? No. It's just knowing that I'm going to get something for behaving correctly that does the trick.

So, come on tantrums and 3-year-old crazies. I'm ready to earn some points. Calmly, of course.

-ashley

things she said - part ??

When you give me kisses all over, I freeze. ... ... I get tingly all over.
Do you mean you get chill bumps?
Yeah, chill bumps. I freeze.

When I grow up, I'm going to be cheerleader fixer nurse.
I'm gonna go to Auburn, and I'm going to fix the cheerleaders when they get hurt.

school firsts

Lydia's first day of school -

She started school at 5 and a half months old. The report from Ms. Marie and Ms. Delores - "She really likes to be talked to."   They tell us every day that we pick her up that she is happy, watches and smiles at everyone, sleeps just a little bit, and is content in the bouncy chair or someone's arms.

Marie and Dolores told Eden's current teachers how smart she was when she was in their room, too. Marie told us that Lydia is following right in her sister's footsteps, "She's a smart one, too, always watching everything."

About a week ago we attended our first first parent-teacher conference for Eden. The best quote? "If we could have a room full of Eden's, it would be great." Other great comments included

• We just adore her. I know she can tell she has me wrapped around her little finger. She'll just give me a look or a wink, and I'm all silly." - Kyra 
• "It's almost like you can have an adult conversation with her. ... .... She was sitting in my lap at chapel singing the song and I said, "Eden you have a beautiful singing voice." She looked up at me and said, "I like your hat." - Janet

So, the report was really good - we sat there and asked questions so it did not look like we knew that is what we would hear (but we did). She really is great. Here are the highlights ...

• loves to be the first one with the answer when they ask a question
• can talk to any adult clearly
• plays well with the kids in the class older than her and the ones below her
• will definitely let the other children {especially the rough boys} know if she doesn't like something
• She's way ahead when it comes to what she knows, how she can communicate, etc. Some of the other kids in her class are being exposed to letters for the first time
• She can write her name on anything, has great finger skills (cutting, folding paper)
• She handles change well, whether it's going from one activity to the next, sharing a toy with a classmate, or having her place at the table, etc. moved without warning.
• Is eager to pay attention and soaks up everything they tell her even if they just mention things once.
• When they learn a new song, she is right up front, watching intently to learn the words and the motions.
• She's just a joy to have in their class.

being thankful

Yesterday and today, Eden and I have talked a little bit about what it means to be thankful. The best I could come up with was thinking of things that make you happy, those are things you are thankful for. Tonight, after drying her hair, I was brushing it and sitting on the floor with her while she continued to build a tower with her legos. I told her I was thankful that she let me brush her hair every day.

She said, "I'm thankful for Mom and Dad build. ... ... To God, I care for him. I'm thankful to God to build my Mom and Dad."

She's so amazing.

- ashley

family photo

Last week, a friend asked me to take a family photo for her for their Christmas card. We decided to take it just before church started in front of the big lawn. As Graham drove into the parking lot, I realized we were all bathed and dressed at the same time and I had the camera with me, so I asked my friend to snap a picture of my little family after I finished taking hers. I love it.

- ashley

p.s. Aren't their dresses cute? Eden's is a hand-me-down from Fable and Ever and Lydia's is a hand-me-down from Eden originally given to her by her Aunt Whitney. Funny how they match so well.

sleep

Ashley's view from her side of our bed ...

She's gonna have a hard time letting this one go ...

... my view one morning when I finished making breakfast ...

For about a week now, Lydia has been sleeping on her own from about 7:45 to sometimes 5:00 a.m. [Editor's Note: We wrote this last week and since then Miss Lydia has been waking up more at night. With the time change, she's now asleep at 7 and up to eat around 3 then back asleep.I'll probably start dream feeding soon.] Generally somewhere in between, Eden makes her way to our bed. So while we're not getting a full night of uninterrupted sleep, it's much better than it was before. And the morning wake up is pretty sweet.

visits

Two Saturday's ago, my cousin Colin came to town for the LSU-Auburn game (awful game, but a good visit). On Sunday, he dropped by to visit with Eden ...

... and meet Lydia.

A few days later, we got a call from Britton at 5:30 saying "What are y'all doing tonight? I think I'm headed to your house." "Come on!" He got to visit a few hours with the girls before bed.

Eden couldn't stop hugging him.

Thankfully, Britton was game for some book reading and cuddling. Afterward, with both girls asleep, the adults actually got to catch up a bit. We enjoyed our visits!

the drive

Both on the way to and the way back from Mobile, Ashley had a great view ... from the back seat ...

... a particular almost-6-month-old would not stop fussing until she could see someone ...

Ashley's view to the right (above) and to the left (below)

Squeezing into the back seat did lead to a little bit of hand holding while watching a DVD ...

... if you don't know or if you forgot we drive a 4-door Corolla. The back seat isn't really made for sitting two carseats and an adult. Tack onto that 3 hours together in a tight space and, well, people start to go crazy...

After about 10 minutes of both girls nearly going crazy, Ashley gave each of them a thumb. Seriously. Eden sucked Ashley's thumb from Denham Springs to home. I got a pic on my phone. Strange.

Ward family reunion

On the Saturday of our Mobile-Andalusia trip, we went to the Ward Family Reunion. Growing up, I remember going every year (it was usually around Thanksgiving), but with living in Indiana and having kids we have not been as a family. A first time for everything.

Of course, Ashley and I got quick hugs with most of the attention paid to the little ones ...

Like always, there was more food than any group of people could possibly eat - but mostly we had fun being together and enjoying the great weather ...

As you might expect, Ashley walked around with her camera and took some pretty great pics ...

War Eagle, Morgan!

One of the most fun activities was bubble blowing by Big Daddy (lots of jumping, screaming, and chasing bubbles).

After lunch, we moved chairs to enjoy the concert ...

One of my cousins has six girls - which makes a great band!

They were REALLY good, seriously. Blue grass gospel