punishment

This morning, while I was in the kitchen and L was in her room napping, E told me from the den ...

E: Momma I got water on my panties.

I walked in. She was on the couch, no water glasses around, while watching tv.

Me: What kind of water?
E: Regular
Me: Where did it come from? your body?
E: No ... {looking around for something plausible} ...  it was from earlier this morning

Me: But you just said something right now. Here is what happened ...

It was like I was explaining a crime scene and laying out the evidence. I have heard of mythical children who always tell the truth, regardless of consequences, as if they don't even realize there is an option. I have never had a child like that.

Me: Go to the bathroom and see if any more pee pee needs to come out.
E: Are you going to have to punish me?
Me: Yes. It would have been ok to say, "Momma, I got a little pee pee in my panties. I made a mistake. I'm sorry" and have gone to the bathroom. But you did not tell the truth so I have to discipline you since you did not tell the truth.
E: What is discipline?

Then, I defined discipline the best I could.

E: Don't talk to me while i'm thinking; that is very bad.
Me: What are you thinking?
E: I'm thinking ... {starts singing} veggie tales, veggie tales ... I want to watch that. I haven't watched that in a long time.

So, there I was in the bathroom realizing that my daughter is singing the Veggie Tales theme song in her head while I'm trying to explain discipline and what she did wrong. Oh my word.

Me: The TV is in time-out for 10 minutes.
screaming, wailing ... a minute later
E: So, I'm not in a time-out, just the TV right?
Me: You are in a time-out from TV.

Oh, this child.

After 20 minutes of a TV time-out and helping in the kitchen, E could watch TV again and on our way in to the den said she wanted to watch a Veggie Tales. "Aha!" I thought - I'll make you watch the one where Larry Boy tells a fib. As I was thinking about my brilliant parenting and pulling it up on netflix, E says from the couch ...

I think I want to watch the one where the little boy doesn't tell the truth. I think everyday I will watch a video about my punishment and what I am thinking and what I am feeling.

Seriously? It is going to be very hard to stay ahead of this child. I'm not sure that thirty years of living is going to be enough.